I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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