Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
