Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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