i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
