At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We named our party play list daddy issues
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
