I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize