So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize