i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Success! We fucked roommates!
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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