East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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