If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
there is glitter all over my balls
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