I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
