I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I fill condoms, not promises.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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