3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
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