ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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