Cold hands, warm shart.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize