you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
