I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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