READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
