margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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