the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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