I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
two words...techno handjob
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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