so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
