Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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