put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
