i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize