So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
And then he peed in my hair
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