I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
