I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
