Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
