do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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