O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
