id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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