shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
