Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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