you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
