she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
