once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
