oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
