Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
And then my night got REAL pukey
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
