No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
