Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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