Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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