Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
