Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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