I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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