goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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