The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
