i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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