I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I have tasted many bathrooms
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize