Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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