I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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