Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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