you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
