Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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