why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize