he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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