I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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