JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
