so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Randomize
