I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
