Screwed.edu
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
