I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
She needs sedatives and a leash
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
