I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
