You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
