They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
