I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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