There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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